Dear doctor’s office,

I’m writing you today to ask you to please stop being a royal pain in the ass. Why must you be so flippin’ terrifying and so completely frustrating? I arrived 15 minutes early for my appointment. I’ve waited in this steaming hot closet of an exam room for an hour now. I am not comfortable. I am not happy. I do not want to be here.

This should have been an in and out appointment. There was no one else waiting in the waiting room. It’s quiet in the building and all the exam room doors were open and empty when I walked in. WTF, man!

I should have known. All doctor’s offices are the same. I expected too much. I even ordered my father’s dinner. I’m now 45 minutes late to pick up his food. Your total disrespect for my time is aggravating to say the least. I hate doctor’s appointments with a passion that burns deep within me. I just wanted to let you know how I feel.

A pissy patient.

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